To Disguise is to Unmask

a poem for class

I wrote this a while attending a writing class.  I do not remember the requirements.  THe class was 4 years ago or so, i changed it a bit.

To Disguise is to unmask

Why did I choose this
Nor white

Nor black

To disguise is to unmask

My face becomes the disguise

Tonight i am green, the color or growth
Warm, and welcoming.

At the dance i open

Vivid rooms

vivid masks

Black walls plastered high
Darkness hides the details
It has merely begun, soon i will see as they do

Porcelain smiles at me
 Alll around
How elegant the masks they wear

White with life
Others dark seeming at the edge of death
All showing their heart

Elegantly dark music floats
Instantly my feet find the beat

Then, the moment

Beauty so radiant, shinning down in rays
Spilling out and gushing to my heart
Filling my begin with instant love so deep

Her mask is different from the rest
She has no smile, as we dance.
The music fades

The air is happy and slow
Slow as a drip after rain
She tells me to follow

Like a dog to his master I go
Yet i want to dance
I have not choice

The next room
I see the bold white walls through the darkness
They shimmer and shine as stars

Does she wish to see

Myself and my mask

What of hers?

I must know.

The kiss comes as I reach
What I grasp I cannot believe
Hair is all I touch

I stare in disbelief
She holds out her hand in gesture
I grab and the smile appears

Together we run to the dance
All around they stare
Then I begin to see

To disguise is to unmask

I reach for the back of my own
Truth sinks vigorously
To the ocean floor of my consciousness

The mask is the face
The face is the mask
To disguise is to unmask

Standing (lyrics)

This was a song that I wrote and sang a few years ago.  I had forgotten about it!  It was exciting to find again!  I have the rhythm for the song and am currently trying to figure out the guitar chords for the song.  We will see.

Standing

Are you going to say
tomorrow or today?
Help me get, this, straight...

CHORUS
Because im standing on the outside,
looking at the inside,
please just let, me, in...
I'm waiting on the Outside.
I see you on the inside.
Staring, back, at, me..

I leave you with one question
Did you ever love me
If so let, me, in...
Look deep into your heart.
I want to be apart.
Just give me, the, key...
(Go to chorus)

I only have one chance.
To get this across
I need you to listen up
The secrets, they have to go
Let them fly out the window.
Just spread the wings.
My heart is so tore
Why wont you answer
Im knocking at the door...
(go to chorus)
(then come back to last chorus)

LAST CHORUS
I'm leaving my spot, I'm walking away.
You won’t answer, and that’s okay.
My body says stay, but spirits in control
I won’t fall deep, into that hole.
(Pause)
I won’t be on the Outside,
Looking at the inside
Im going; away...

Never Forgotten Sufia

I have sad news blog world.  At my job we recently lost a co-worker.  Sufia Munim died Friday on her way back home to Cedar Rapids.  Sufia lived and worked here in Ankeny with her 3 year old son while her husband worked and lived in Cedar Rapids.  She lived in a hotel while she was finishing up this internship so she could graduate grad school.  She was only 26.  Every weekend her and her son would travel back to Cedar Rapids to be with their husband and dad for the weekend.  This was such sad news to come to work and hear.  Sufia was an energetic, fun, charismatic, motherly woman.  Her son and I both shared the same birthday.  We spent 40 hours a week together for some time now and I am so thankful for having the honor to meet such a wonderful woman.  She always told me that she would never forget me because she would always think about me on her son’s birthday.  Well, Sufia, now it is I who will never forget you each passing year on August 16.

Thought On An Upcoming Famous Marriage

http://news.yahoo.com/s/dailybeast/20101118/ts_dailybeast/11034_princewilliamandkatemiddletonengagementhardworkbeingroyal


I found this a very interesting article.  It is true that so many people dream about ruling a country or being a prince/princess.  But we forget all the baggage that goes along with those positions.  It is true that many girls around the world are jealous of Kate Middleton because she gets Prince William.  But this article has very interest descriptions of the work ahead! Here is an interesting snippet from the article: 
"In the calendar year 2009, Her Majesty the Queen undertook no fewer than 409 official engagements, i.e., more than one a day. She is 84 years old."
WOW!  I bet many of us complain about work but do we have 409 official engagements a year?  Imagine the amount of unofficial engagements!  Just a thought that sometimes being normal and in the middle can have its perks.  I am allowed to go out and not be noticed if I choose.  I am not photographed every second of every day.  I can have a family and most likely no assassinations will be placed on them, and so on and so forth. 

scientists trap antimatter atoms

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/eu_switzerland_antimatter

what is antimatter?  Here is a short and limited description by wikki
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antimatter

The above link describes how CERN recently made a scientific breakthrough by isolating anti-matter for a period of time (short amount of time, but on the human time scale nonetheless).  This is the first time this has ever been done.  Vast amounts of money have been poured into the anti-matter project and it is actually yielding some results.  Though many people think this discovery could lead to either obliteration of the planet or mass amounts of energy for us humans to use, the likelihood of that is slim according to the researchers at CERN.  Nonetheless, I think this is good for the scientific community and humankind.  CERN and its partners have gotten many negative backlashes at what they are doing, usually by Christians.  Why do we (I use the word we loosely) Christians seem to always be in the hater crowd. Ha-ha.  This is discovery, this is research, and this is science.  These things are not against our religion or our God.  As a great thinker once wrote "for truth does not oppose truth but accords with it and bears witness to it" (averroes). We should not be afraid to find truth but should embrace and search for truth in the physical and spiritual world (if they are separate)  ;)   I think it is crazy how much money goes towards the anti-matter production and research but I also do not consider myself at all an expert on the subject and do not know the possibilities it can hold.  Who knows the truths that it can unlock.  Research is usually good, and I think they are searching for truths that can unlock mysteries, and who knows what else. 

So good job CERN for your recent accomplishments, maybe attempt to find a way to cut the cost!  I still think that we would not be where we are today if we had not put so much stock into seeking truths, researching, reasoning, etc.  Obviously there are other things that are important, arguably more important, but it does not take away the fact that research, discovery, and understanding have its special spot in humanity.

Regurgitated discussion/rant about church buildings

I'm semi new to the blog world so i'm not sure if this is cheating, but i am revisiting a previous note i wrote almost two years ago.  I will comment on my note after the post...

here it is:

"

Why do we as a people of Christ spend so much time working on our church, dedicating so much time to being inside the church, and spend so much money on the church. Do we really believe that our view of “the church” is the building? What scripture do we gather that from? “And the lord said, spend lots of money on a building in my name” “And Jesus said, sell all of your things and give the money to a building in my name”. I do not think this is the case.
Isn’t it more accurate scripture wise to spend that money on the poor, on others, on people’s lives, on things that matter, the sick, the homeless, ect. I think so. What is more powerful? A giant building with a massive 1,000 dollar cross that has a bunch of rich people pour their money into to continue adding on additional crap. Or a shack type building that dedicated followers of Christ who are average people go to, to meet and worship together the Lord of the Bible; these people meet here because they give their money to the poor and other outreaching groups to help their community. They realize that the church is not a building but is a relational group of people who are following Christ with their lives. Don’t get me wrong I know that the building of a church can be used for good things. (Help kids/people get off the street, be appetizing to the eye and attract people into it that way to hear things needed to be heard, to enact basketball games and other types of after school activities to keep kids off the streets and give them more positive things to do) The thing I don’t get it why it seems churches want you to stay in them when the field Jesus speaks about is the world, not the 18,600sq ft addition to your church building. I think our churches should not be so much as a living area as it should be a sort of headquarters. A place where we meet those who we trust the most, those we love and support and a place we can help each other in the battle of life because we are all pursuing the same goal. So we find out things we did not know, find out secrets, and find out game plans.
In Acts which is known as the start of the “church,” realize Christianity was illegal, which means church was not a massive building so much as it was a relational group of people who were dedicated to the Lord and to each other.

What is church to you?
"

I think this note stemmed from many churches that I visit that are certain they are the only location (or other locations affiliated with them) that Christ is present or blessing.  I think that’s egotistical and stupid.  Again I reiterate that I am not saying that we should not have buildings dedicated to Jesus or our religion, but we should not become accustomed to putting down other groups and buildings if people decide to go there.  Do not be jealous or arrogant; be happy that the work of the Lord is not only on one particular groups shoulders or building.  Be thankful that despite the many flaws of EVERY group and EVERY building, God and we can produce good works in good faith.  Keep on making churches better through heat and air for the not so good weather; convert those non-used rooms into shelter for the poor, homeless, and stricken.  Find things to do with the buildings on Monday through Saturday!  Be creative! Be loving!  Be generous!  Do not horde people or demand but lead.  Join other churches and organizations (even non religious ones that do good) and help them in the good causes going on throughout the world.  Again, I want to repeat, I was not saying the buildings should not happen but money should be used correctly and the focus should not be on the building or the group, but should be on the ultimate goals.

opposite heaven.

I am reviewing my past journal entries and just adding them to the blog.

While in school i was reading "Phaedo" by Plato.  Socrates discusses that pain comes from opposites.  Pain is followed by good and good is followed by pain.  I got to thinking that maybe heaven is a place where there is no opposites.  Maybe we are able to engage in happiness, joy, and good without the necessity of pain and negative following or preceding.  Maybe we can engage in the good without the knowledge or existence of the negative and the bad having to be there first or existing also.
This is no full fledge theological description of what i really think heaven is and could be, but this is just a random thought using some philosophical knowledge from the past.

Turkish Philosophy

While i spent some time in Turkey i had time to sit and think.  It was a nice change of pace compared to the working life back here in the states.  I journalized some, but mostly i kept it in my head.  Here are a few of the times i did journal some of my thoughts.  These are my more deeper entries, of course, they are not all written in this manner, but these are the ones i will share.

This was after spending the evening on the shoreline of the Mediterranean sea.  The sea is breathtaking and mesmerizing.  The feelings it swells within are light and wonderful. Here is what i wrote afterwards:
     'As i look out into the sea i am blocked by tall bushes.  Giant vibrant green bushes advert my eyes.  Then i see a hole.  A small insignificant hole, that opens a mesmerizing unforgettable view.  IT is as our vision is of heaven and truth.  Only when we turn our gaze and wait do we allow possible mere distorted glimpses of heaven.  As mere small distorted glimpses of the beautiful shoreline and horizon melt and ascend with the misty hills beckoning them home. "

I believe this next entry was after we visited the site of Ephesus.  I was able to see a magnificent library!!!  Here are some quick pics of the place.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephesus

This is me next to one of the front statues, there are four all together.  Wisdom, knowledge, intelligence, and virtue.

"I was reminded of how fragile and short this life is.  Do not miss the movements of this world, slow down and realize the capabilities you have to understand, comprehend, and effect the world.  See this world and the next all around you.  Respect others, respect earth, respect the history of those that have done good, learn from those who have done bad, forgive but never forger, and love one another."

While on the trip to Turkey, we traveled over miles.......while we did that i was able to read many books.  It was great!  Here are a few quotes from those books.

"This quest may be attempted by the week with as much hope as the strong.  yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere."  Lord of the Rings  Elrond the wise Elf




"A nation that continues to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death."  -MLK

The wonderful words of Mr. Chesterton

I may not agree with G.K on everything, but he is a marvelous writer!  This is from the book "Orthodoxy"



"One searches for truth, but it may be that one pursues instinctively the more extraordinary truths."

"I did try to found a heresy of my own; and when i had put the last touches to it; I discovered that it was orthodoxy."

"I will not call it my philosophy; for I did not make it.  God and humanity made it; and it made me."

"Oddities do not strike odd people.  this is why ordinary people have a much more exciting time; while odd people are always complaining of the dullness of life."

"How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it; if you could really look at other men with common curiosity and pleasure."

"Healthy hesitation, healthy thought of the other side, healthy complexity."

"The earth is so large, and the cosmos is so very small.  The cosmos is about the smallest hole that a man can hide his head in."

"Restriction of materialism"  "Materialists and madmen never have doubts."

"How can you advance freedom when you use free thought to destroy free will."

"

In awe of San Suu Kyi

Many people who know me know that i am infatuated with information.  I love to find out information.  Also, i believe information is needed for people to state opinions and statements.  Today, i read some fantastic news about the nobel prize winner San Suu Kyi who fights harder than most for the freedom of information and democracy.  She fights for the freedom of the oppression in the country that was known as Burma.

This is great news that she is out of her house arrest!  I hope it revives the country's people's hearts.  We will see.  This article below explains how this is such a great moment, but also a critical one.  The focus should not be taken away from the military tyranny going on at the moment in the country.

Of course, this type of news makes me feel lucky that i can sit safely in my house, drinking some coffee, applying for graduate schools and write blogs about my opinions on different political and justice issues.

I suppose i end this note with a great thank you to those like San Suu Kyi.  I am in awe of their courage,  brilliance, and perseverance.  I only hope that more and more people like her can emerge, fighting for freedom for others.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/as_myanmar_suu_kyi

Child Protection Compact Act: Nov 15

Upon finding this article I was moved to share!  I was searching the web for more information about the Child Protection Compact Act. 

http://writ.news.findlaw.com/commentary/20090715_klarevas_buckley.html


To find out more about the Child Protection Compact Act and what you can do about it, check out the following:
http://www.ijmmobile.org/content/detail/268

I will write more about my thoughts and emotions when i read about this type of stuff, but the information is more imporatant at the moment, so read up!